


or else--

by astr_id



Category: Six - Marlow/Moss
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Other, content warnings are in the notes!, ocd anne, ya this is my first time creating on this site so imagine me knowing how to do this lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:27:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27984579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astr_id/pseuds/astr_id
Summary: i got this idea stuck in my head so-- basically this is just my interpretation of anne dealing with ocd, and intrusive thoughts in her daily life, while still being the chaotic bi she is.
Relationships: Anne Boleyn & Katherine Howard, Anne Boleyn/Catherine Parr, Anne of Cleves/Katherine Howard, Parrlyn - Relationship, katanna - Relationship
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	or else--

**Author's Note:**

> hsfdkjghjksdfgh alright so this is my first time using this site, and like ACTUALLY finishing something so 😛👍 technology icon right here. so aha keep that in mind.
> 
> 🚨cw: cursing, ocd triggers, intrusive thoughts🚨 (let me know if i missed any!!)
> 
> note: kat is a demigirl and will be referred to with both she/her and they/them pronouns. please let me know if you get confused, so i can address and i can talk about it!! (no ofc this is not me projecting onto her hgkjsfhgjksfhdjgk)
> 
> note: here are the six of their pronouns!!  
> catherine - she/her  
> anne - she/her (also okay with they/them, i don't think she's referred to with anything other than her name in this, but it does in another one of my fics i'm writing so yeh gkjfsdhgksd)  
> jane - she/her  
> anna - she/her  
> kat - she/they  
> cathy - they/them
> 
> note: this is told from anne's pov!
> 
> final note: i disabled caps on my computer and i honestly forgot how to get them back so i'm sorry about that but hgksfdjhksd

1:21 AM- two more minutes- two more minutes or kat will get hurt. the thoughts swirl around, my foggy tired brain. two minutes anne- you got this.

1:22 AM- it’s still quiet, with only the sound of the quiet tv, that’s on literally 24/7 for some reason- i guess cathy’s still up. It’s not unusual though- they do a lot of writing and their sleep schedule is fucked because of always insisting they’re most inspired late at night. maybe i can get them- _cuddles!!!--- no- anne- you have less than a minute. WATCH. THE. CLOCK. do you WANT something to happen to kat or---?----- i’ll just go make sure they’re alright- i’ll be back in time.  
WATCH THE GOD DAMN CLOCK ANNE! _

1:23 AM- the clock changes, and i let out a sigh of relief. needing to be sure everything’s right, i slip out of bed onto the cool floor- making sure to take 7 sips of water from the bottle by my bed. the wood is cold against my feet, as i make my way into the hallway. 1. 2. 3. 4. 

i reach my cousins door, just across from mine in four steps, knocking quietly on the doorframe- for some reason they always leave their door open while they sleep. she shifts but doesn’t wake up- kat’s always saying she’s a light sleeper but usually they sleep like a rock. this is a good sign, she’s not shaking so she’s not having a nightmare, she’s here, and they don’t appear to be hurt in any way. relieved, i make my way to the living room- 36 steps- and find cathy exactly where i knew they’d be- curled up on the couch bent over a small notebook, pencil flying. 

they look up, realizing i’m here, smiling at me. “hi lovey. what are you doing up?” i plop down onto the couch next to them, curling up. 

“couldn’t sleep. i thought something was going to happen to kat. i made it to 1:23 though!!! she’s okay, i went to check on them- they’re sleeping.” they gently place a hand on my knee. 

“oh annie. this is happening again? i’m so sorry. is there anything i can do?” i shake my head, just wanting to cry- i’m exhausted.  
“i can’t control it. i’m sorry.” i curl into my partner’s arms, and they set aside their notebook to rub my back, kissing the top of my head. 

“there’s no need to apologize- you’ve done nothing wrong. do you want to talk about what happened? if not, we can just stay here and cuddle.” i don’t really want to bother them, but i find myself spilling everything- my intrusive thoughts, the patterns i have to follow, my panicking when i lose things due to my adhd- fix your hair, or they’ll think you’re faking. the thought is sudden, forcing it’s way to the front of my brain. fix it anne. fix it. fixitfixitfixitfixit. i squirm, wincing, and pulling away from cathy to run a hand through my messy dark hair. “are you all right love?” they ask, concerned. i force myself to nod, cautiously settling back against their chest. “i just want you to know i’m here for you, alright annie? you’re so strong- it must be scary dealing with this everyday. if this happens again, please come get me- if i can’t do anything else at least i can be here for cuddles!”

“th-thank you cathy.” i relax in their arms, letting them hold me, until i eventually fall asleep.

。☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆。

“kit kat!” i can’t help but give my cousin a big hug, when i walk into the kitchen in the morning, as if to make sure she’s really here. she smiles, hugging me back. “annie!! what’s up?” i don’t tell them what happened this morning, just shrugging, turning to the breakfast bar, where jane’s laid out a pile of pancakes and a bowl of fruit. i shoot her a grateful smile, grabbing a plate and loading it with pancakes.

“anne, don’t forget some fruit.” she says smirking. i groan, taking a few strawberries sitting back next to kat, shoveling down pancakes. anna giggles from the couch, where she’s sketching something out. i quickly finish eating, jumping down from my stool, walking carefully to put my plates in the dishwasher. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. then over to the couch where anna’s sitting cross legged. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6-- catherine groggily walks into the living room, bumping into me. “crap, sorry anne.” 

“it’s fine. i should be more careful probably.” i turn back to my goal-- taking another step forward. 9. 10. wait-- did i skip something? did i already say 9? shit shit shit. i stop, trying to remember, but i can’t. curse my easily distracted mind, forcing me to think of other things, instead of what’s important. i ended on an even number, right? jane notices me looking nervous, just standing there like an idiot.

“anne, are you alright?”

“how many steps have i taken? from the dishwasher? how many?” i ask, wringing my hands. she looks at me confused.

“i’m not sure love. i was turned around.” she brushes it off, so i try to as well. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. seven. i was on seven! crap. crapcrapcrap. miscounted. i flop down next to anna on the couch who smiles at me. i try to smile back but i feel a sense of panic creeping into me.

“anne, you sure you’re okay?” she asks worriedly. “you seem nervous.”

“i lost count of my steps-- i’m just kind of overwhelmed. i can’t go back and fix it so---” i sigh, taking a deep breath. “sorry.”

“you’re good. what would happen if you miss a step?” she asks gently, and i shrug.

“i dunno. i guess whatever. usually whatever i’m worrying about-- that’s what my mind says at least” she pats my arm. 

“annie- i’m sorry. is there anything we can do to distract you from this?” again i shrug. i honestly don’t know. everytime i try, it comes crashing back. “if there is, let me know.” i nod, and she turns back to her drawing, of kat curled up on the couch half asleep. it’s amazing. she catches me looking, and smiles.

“it’s for them.” she blushes. 

“it’s amazing. she’s gonna love it” a big smile spreads across the red queen’s face. kat bounces over, to her girlfriend, catching sight of the drawing, turning bright red. 

“gaaahhhhhh. oh my god, anna.” i giggle at their state of gay panic, moving over as anna pulls them down to sit on her lap. i stand up stretching, intending to go to cathy’s room. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15--- at 53 steps i’ve reached their door. _tap the door or cathy dumps you. they care about me-- not if you don’t tap the door. just tap it alright?_ i reach out my hand, tapping my fingers against it lightly. they swing open the door, and i almost fall into them righting myself at the last second. they laugh, wrapping an arm around me causing me to blush. “what’s up annie?”

“i’m just a little overwhelmed. i lost count of my steps, and just got stressed. plus i missed you.” i add shyly. they take me into their arms, kissing my forehead. 

“cuddle time!!” they practically yell, pulling me into their room. we lean against their wall, and i rest my head on their shoulder. “can i read to you?” they ask excitedly, pulling out their notebook again. i nod, and a smile spreads across their face. i quietly watch them, as they find a certain page, a soft smile curling my lips. their voice is quiet once they begin- and remains that way as they read me their writing- something they never do. _it’s because of the tapping- no SHUT UP!!_

it’s a poem they’re reading, with an arm gently wrapped around me. something they wrote only recently, about chosen family. a chosen home. i’m blushing the whole time, as they read all their thoughts about finding the five of us, and connecting to me- and feeling like they found their place. found a home they could talk to, and be themselves around. and when they finish i just give them a hug. we stay like that for a few minutes, quietly just being together.

“you’re amazing darling- i love you so much.” they smile at me, softly kissing me. 

“i love you too. whenever you need me i’m here. and if you want any help at all with what’s going on i can look into it, and see what we can do to help you.”

。☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆。

it’s a few hours later, and i’m attempting to read in an armchair in the living room. kat is sprawled on the floor playing on her switch, with cathy watching next to her, jokingly distracting them occasionally, earning themself a light smack. catherine and jane are making some elaborate dinner, running between the stove, and the pantry. and anna’s working on the final shading of her drawing. i flip a few pages absentmindedly, before giving up, jumping onto the couch next to anna, who jumps, laughing. 

i watch as she carefully chooses her colors, adding shading to the magenta blanket in the youngest person’s hand. “shit!” kat yells as they’re passed just as she’s about to cross the finish line of the final lap in their mario kart. jane whips around, with a messy cloth towel still in her hand. 

“katherine! watch your language love.”

“sorry… mum” they stick their tongue out at their motherly figure, who laughs. “anne, play against me!” she challenges, smirking at me. 

“you’re on. be warned though- i’ll kick your ass.” kat makes sure jane’s back is turned before they flip me off, and i roll my eyes in return. “let’s go upstairs. the screen’s bigger.” i pull them up, and race them up the stairs- 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. i flop down on a beanbag in the attic, and kat starts the game. 

“dammit anne!” i pass kat again, in the last lap, tapping my foot against the wooden floor, smirking. 

“you’re distracting meeeeee.” i giggle, picking up my phone to check the time. _5:03. be back downstairs by 5:55. 5:55._

“come on, i’m tired of beating you. let’s go back downstairs.” i smile at my cousin, ruffling their brown to pink streaked hair.  
“one more round? i got it this time. let me switch karts with you- yours is probably just easier.” 5:54. sixty seconds, sixty seconds.

“i’m uh just starting to get overwhelmed-- we’ve just been in here a while---” i say, already jumping to my feet, bouncing a bit. shit. let’sgolet’sgolet’sgoshitshitshit. her face falls a little, but she recognizes my body language, and follows me as i fly down the stairs, reaching the bottom right as the clock hits 5:55. i let out a sigh of relief. “why don’t we play again later? i bet you can beat me then.” she smiles, nodding as i go to cuddle up on cathy’s lap.

they wrap their arms around me, resting their head on my shoulder. anna, now done with her drawing, slips onto the floor next to her partner, showing her the final product. kat’s blushing, turning a bright pink, kidding their girlfriend’s cheek. “gah, i love it so so much. you’re so talented love, thank you so so much.” she gives her a huge hug, settling against her. 

i can’t help but notice a few of anna’s pencils scattered on the floor, and scoot off cathy’s lap to pick them up. “oh, thanks anne! i can put those away in a bit- you don’t have to do that.” she smiles at me, but i shake my head. 

“i got it! i like the organization. sometimes i get stressed out, when they’re not arranged in a certain way… i’m sorry.”

“oh no! it’s alright! i just didn’t want to make you feel like you had to clean up something for me. and what bothers you? i just kinda shove them wherever i can remember them.” kat giggles, kissing her girlfriend’s jawline. a smile spreads across my face, and i flap my hands happily. 

“it’s just based on the colors. i just don’t like it when they’re not in order based on a gradient. i know it just sounds stupid, and picky but my mind just kind of convinced me that something will go wrong if it’s not in a specific way. i don’t know.” cathy shifts next to me, and helps me pick up everything.  
“right, so what order do the colors go in?” they ask, tousling my hair.  
“red to white.” the two of us reorder the pencils, and they let me just lean against them, cuddling them, not complaining once about my need for the perfect order, and my recent panic.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope y'all enjoyed this!
> 
> i'm off to go start my 7 page essay due first period tomorrow jksdfghjksdg
> 
> if you have any feedback, or recommendations for the future feel free to comment! i hope you're all doing well, have a nice day/night 
> 
> \- astrid (they/them)


End file.
